Nov 9, 2007

To Whom Shall I Liken The Men of This Generation? Roles and the Male-Female Dynamic Part III

Jesus answered his own question. And who are they like, Jesus said?

They are like unto children sitting in the marketplace, and calling one to another, and saying, we have piped unto you, and ye have not danced; we have mourned to you, and ye have not wept.

Many women in America are no longer dancing!

Ouch!! Now brethren, before you get mad at me, consider the words uttered by the late Johnnie Cochran, during the previously televised O.J. Simpson trial, i.e., '...if the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit'. If it fits, and you are not in denial over whether it fits or not, then you have to do something about it - don't be so quick to acquit yourself.

And with regard to name dropping: Did I tell you that I had the opportunity to meet Mr. Cochran at the pro-basketball player, Latrell Sprewell's, press conference that I attended some years ago at the Convention Center in Oakland California? The Rev gets around folks - Mr. Cochran was surprisingly short of stature, however, a very nice man.

And while I am it, OJ's other best friend who completed the triumvirate - besides AC Cowlings, Jo Bell (had just turned minister when OJ was incarcerated) was also a friend of mine who would keep me abreast of how OJ was doing in jail - when he visited our church from Seattle Washington. Yes the same Jo Bell, the famous running back on the Championship University of Washington football team of years gone by.

OJ was from the Protrero Hill area of San Francisco, a stone's throw from Candlestick Park where a former female acquaintance of mine that I often visited once resided. I just missed meeting OJ, years before he got in trouble, when I was visiting the players in the locker room (particularly All-Pro middle-backer Cleveland Elam) at the San Francisco 49er's training camp; that was when it was still located in Redwood City. The Niner’s camp is currently located in Santa Clara -yes, I've been there too. Man, those dudes were bigger than the Rev!

Today's quotations by author, scientist and futurist: Ray Kurzweil:
1). A deeper truth can be perceived only by illuminating the opposing sides of a paradox.

2). A common approach is to deny that the issue exists.

Quotation by Rev. C. Solomon

It is both unthinkable and unconsciencable, that many black males today - who are the successors and beneficiaries of the courage, love and largese of female liberators, could in turn subject females (progeny of their liberators), to similar condtions and slave treatment, of the kind that they were helped to escape from!


Author Ray Kurzweil is correct, the only hope of deeper truth ever being revealed within the human male-female standoff, is when both sides agree to listen attentively to what the other side has to say. After that, both sides must attempt to understand and do something about what the other side has been trying to say to the other(for eons it would appear). Black American males should be especially suited to listen, understand as well as relate to what women have been trying to say to them, given their experiences of being exploited by racism and historical slavery.

The discrimination and slavery that persisted in America was similar in many respects to the bondage and discrimination that was experienced in classical history and literature by the Jews). Both groups, in spite of their cries for freedom, were held in bondage for approximately 400 years!

Males of every hue and nationality, should ask themselves, particularly black males, just how long have females been enslaved or treated as slaves by the male portion of the species? We should also ask ourselves, when are we going to do something about liberating them? One could argue (if you believe Bishop Usher's calculations), that females have been in bondage for going on about 4-7000 years now. That is how old he believes that humans have been on earth. I don't necessarily agree with Bishop Usher's numbers, but right or wrong, even 4-7000 years is too long.

I strongly agree with Mr. Kurzweil that the common approach to dealing with problems that is often employed by too many human beings (especially males in this context,) is to deny that an issue even exists. Many males would have you to believe that the other side is simply delusional, or experiencing auditory or visual hallucinations. I am not here to beat up on my brothers, for there are many enlightened brothers out there who are trying to change themselves and to treat women like human beings instead of chattel.

However, just as an aside, I often wonder why some black males, the same ones who decry the racism and subjugation that was forced upon them by their white counterparts, have been so adept at behaving in the same manner when it comes to females? In the book: ALL God's Children, the story of the Bosket family from Edgefield South Carolina, the author explained why he believed that black males often misbehave in the manner in which they do. He also explains, who he believes that black males in America are trying to imitate - their former white masters.

Black males should recall all of the female leaders, black and white, who led us and helped to secure our freedoms. Many of these females, both black and white, were members of the abolitionist movement in America, others were not. However, and at the same time, all of them helped African males (as well as African females) to secure freedom from the American slave south.

It is both unthinkable and unconsciencable, that many black males today - who are the successors and beneficiaries of the courage, love and largese of female liberators, could in turn subject females (progeny of their liberators), to similar condtions and slave treatment, of the kind that they were helped to escape from! Is this how we thank those females who helped to secure our freedoms, by enslaving their postertity, and treating their progeny as if they are 'slave children', and as if they belong to us and we are their masters?

Well back to the subject: In part 2, Roles and Woman Inherits the Earth, I used the movie Jurassic Park as a backdrop, particularly the verbal bantering that took place between Park Creator John Hammond and Ellie Sattler. Their encounters during the film often depicted the veiled and at times open sexist encounters and harbored feelings of antipathy and resentment that often exists between males and females - especially by males. One can only imagine the energy that it takes when one one spends his entire life trying to keep his counterparts in subjection to him.

And as we pointed out last time, Jurassic Park was based on a period/epoch that most of us read about in the Bible the Garden of Eden. In Yahweh's garden setting, replete with birds of the air, animals (including a serpent) large and small, vegetation, food for human consumption, herbs and trees - and last but not least human beings; the humans, the flora and the fauna were brought together in what turned out to be a cosmic clash that was of astronomical proportions.

The fruit was dangerous, the devil (played by the serpent) was the supplanter, and the humans (played by Adam and Eve) were both the victims in this divine cosmic experiment. The experiment tested whether or not man would obey God, or submit to a death that would result as a consequence of his disobedience to God's command. The consequence of failure: the humans were tossed from the paradisiacal garden and females forevermore, not just Eve, would suffer in two ways.

Women would suffer excruciating pain in childbirth. And I will let women decide, however, it would appear that the worse park of her suffering would be that forever, she would be 'ruled over' by man. That will teach her to stay in her place! Well, here we are today in the year 2007CE, and still on planet Earth, however, 'we are not living in paradise".

Part I. As I pointed out in Part II, there was as much testosterone and male arrogance present in JP as there was in the Garden of Eden. Yahweh, who was characterized as a male-God (not a genderless spirit), who without the aid of female input, relied upon aspects of himself in order to create his earthly paradise. John Hammond, played by Sir. Richard Attenborough, one of my favorite actors by the way, acquired the assistance and knowledge of several male experts, who along with himself (doctors and scientists) made up the male dominated god-head of Jurassic Park. The final touches to be put on the park prior to its opening, and inspection were being made to the park under the direction of a male attorney who was sent to examine the park before it could be opened to the public.

But something unexpectedly went wrong as Ian Malcolm, the chaotician interjected, 'nature will not be contained'. Nature in this instance was represented by females: a female storm, the 2-females on the isle that wouldn't stay in their places, and the all-female animals on the island. Towards the climax of the movie, the female dinosaurs found a way to conceive and reproduce without the assistance of any male progenitors, and the females contributed by and large to the saving of lives more than any other single factor. Now isn’t that just like a female?

Frankly women are still saving our hides today, even though we will rarely admit it. The question that remains then - how come we really don't like them? And how come we will not treat females with the dignity and respect that they deserve? So why do we abuse females, either verbally or physically? Male males desire females, primarily for sensory purposes; when we can use them for sexual purposes, and last but not least we also like it when females serve and take care of us.

But the idea of females having a say, one need only to consider American history, for proof that the founders of this nation had very little interest in what females had to say; look how long it took for females to attain suffrage. Factually, I was speaking with a gentleman on this subject approximately 30 years ago. I said to him at the time, "women were not put here simply for our sexual gratification". He immediately replied, you are right, "they are supposed to cook too"!

Part II. The Rev Doesn't Know Why He is a Fish Out (one of many I am sure) of Water, in terms of his feelings. However, and to be frank, I have been fairly unsuccessful getting along with women myself in spite of my wonderful attitude and feelings towards women. So it must be their fault that we haven't always gotten along? And to be honest, the Rev is a divorcee. However, having said that - I certainly don't blame the women who were once in my life, dating or otherwise, solely, for our failure to get along. For example, years ago I resided in the mountains just above the Pacific Ocean, having relocated from the East Bay where I lived in the mountains overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge. The area was known as Pacifica. Pacifica is located in California, just above the city of Serramonte and near Skyline Drive, it is a suburb of San Francisco.

I had been married for a relatively short period of time when God let me sense that my former wife was not a happy camper. I think it was when she told me, I AIN'T HAPPY, that I got it - women will let you know when they are not happy. Well, anyway, we lived in a beautiful area, having just been married for about a year it would seem. I had a great job as a Territory Manager with a General Motors subsidiary. I had a beautiful wife, new cars provided for me every year, expenses, a church to attend - and man we were, I thought, 'on my way'. Get it, we were on my way!

The Rev could not understand given our wonderful start as to what was wrong with this chick? First of all, she had me (good looking, tall, dark, handsome and Holy-Ghost filled stud that I was); and we were doing well. Then the Lord helped me to understand. Do you remember the young man who was with the Prophet Elijah on the occasion when the Syrian army surrounded their dwelling, see 2 Kings 6:17? Then Elisha prayed and said, "O LORD, I pray, open his eyes that he may see..." The prophet had to pray that the young man's eyes be opened in order for him to see what he could not see. Before his eyes were opened, the young man could see only what was right in front of him, and what registered within his sense. Heaven help the female whose mate lacks obstensible sensory deprivation?

Many of us need to have our eyes opened so that we can see beyond = limited periphery, through tunnel vision and our own narrow perceptions of reality. Among the things that he made me to realize was that she was stranded in our mountain paradise, if you will - having just located away from her home for the first time that was 2200 miles away. We had one automobile at the time, and I used the car mostly in my work from home business. There was an experimental and archaic bus system that the county was trying out; they purchased some old dilapidated buses from another jurisdiction, about 4 buses I believe in order to provide some public transportation for those who needed to make the trek up the mountain.

And having, said that the buses often broke down before reaching the top of the mountain. If you were driving up the mountain, you might believe, as I did initially, that the driver had simply stopped over for his coffee break. Nope, the bus had broken down, again and again and again.

That was only one of the problems: God spoke to me and said that females are people too, and they have lives and they don't want to spend their lives as slaves and servant girls or simply waiting at home until ‘tall dark and handsome hubby got home’. Seem simple? Nothing saddened me more than to witness the sadness in her spirit. Here was someone who relocated 2200 miles across the country, from Chicago IL, to be with me - and folks, she was not happy. I would come home and tell her about my great day, and share stories about what I saw in the beautiful California country and coast side, failing to understand that she was unable to have the social interaction that I enjoyed each and every day.

I was living my dream. I had a home (Luxury apartment actually - one of the most expensive in the San Francisco Bay Area), new car provided yearly, money, a paradise of sorts including 'my woman'. In fact, one day for the heck of it I walked down that mountain myself, and man - forget it, you don't want to do that. Okay, so she couldn't walk up and down the mountain, but I bet you those women in the Bible would have!

Part III. Do Men Understand Women?
Are we men, often like children just sitting in the marketplace without a clue, and happily singing, dancing, playing games and simply calling out to each other while ignoring the needs of the females? Oftentimes, the Eve's in our paradises, are not happy campers. Why? Because, we, males, are fulfilling our visions and at the same time expecting women to give up there visions. We want them to simply get on board with us, and help us to fulfill our visions. And what we end up with most of the time, is a partner with a broken, wounded and repressed Spirit.

Why are we like that? We males have zero respect for the feminine principle (which represents what women think and feel and what women bring to the table). Why? I will tell you why? It is because most of us, egocentric males, believe that what women feel and think is inconsequential. See, males have their own principle: it is called, I am the boss and you were placed here on earth in order to make me happy. The female principle, on the other hand, contains within it antecedents and elements of a female who wants to do things that make her happy.

Good Lord, aren't females aware yet, that they were not put here on earth to make themselves happy? Females, every male and most children believe, were placed on earth to serve and to make them happy! If you a female who felt any joy today, somewhere today you were not doing what you were created to do - so stop it, apologize, and go and find someone to wait on - given the servile expectancy that is a part of your nature. At least, that is how males see it – besides, YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER EATEN THAT APPLE - and look what you have done to yourself. If you hadn’t of eaten that apple, surely we would have been nicer to you!

Okay smarty, I heard you - it wasn't the apple or the quince or whatever Eve purportedly ate and shared with her husband that made her unhappy - it was male dominance that made her unhappy, then and it is insensitive male dominance and injustice that causes most women to be unhappy in life today. So what do we do, throw grits on the man as Tyler Perry suggested in his films and plays, or have grits thrown on us as Rev. Al Green and others have already experienced? Or, should women employ the Lysine contingency? Remember the Lysine contingency that was mentioned in the Jurassic Park film, which was that the dinosaurs could not produce the amino acid lysine. Without supplements in their food they slip into comma and die. Should women, being the embodiment of the lysine contingency in men's lives simply withdraw. Well, we deserve it, but I hope you won't do that even though we would deserve it if you did.

One minister who appreciated the women in his congregation so much, once proclaimed, folks if all of the women were to leave the church he would be preaching a final sermon. And the title of his sermon, he said, would be taken from the words of St. Paul found in 2 Corinthians 13:11, "FINALLY MY BRETHREN FAREWELL".

As we mentioned before, some females are withdrawing into monogamous same-sex relationships. These females have given up on the male portion of the species. They don't believe that we will ever change. And they are in part right. Some years ago the Rev became a fan of the San Jose Lasers and the Sacramento Monarchs women's professional basketball teams. I spent many weekends in hotels, having made the 110 mile trek to Sacramento on more than one occasion, to watch the Monarchs play.

However, my efforts to get my male-friends to go and watch the females play basketball close-by in San Jose, just as we often did with the male Golden State Warriors team - well let's just say that I heard things like: they can't dunk, or I don't want to go and watch a bunch of lesbos. Can you believe they said that in front of the Rev? Man, we can be cruel! I would counter, and how about all of the years that females have supported male sports? And of course, my response did not yield the desired result!

Folks, the Rev personally witnessed the United States' Women's Olympic Basketball team’s decapitation of the Australian Olympic team, with its 7-foot center. Lisa Leslie was there, and she could dunk, and let me tell you - she ain't no lesbo. Lisa is a beautiful and accomplished woman. The deeply held and insidious feelings that males harbor towards women are deeply entrenched (even among Christian males) - I have witnessed it first hand as I have already pointed out. I suspect that my male friends knew that Lisa could beat any one of us playing basketball. I suspect that they were intimidated by women who could beat them in a given sport.

Now that girl from Brasil, on the other hand, who is the spittin' image of Dennis Rodman - well, let’s just say that not many men would want to look just like Dennis – The Rev wouldn’t have asked her out on a date or to play basketball either! Hmm baby. I am not saying that she was ugly, but let's just say that the Rev does not want to go out on a date with a woman who looks like a 6 foot by 7 inches version of one of his homeys. Besides, she could beat me down and I don't want that!!

Part IV. The Transparent Rev:
Someone recently asked the Rev, "... do you ever plan to remarry"? I didn't hesitate to provide them (I was asked more than once) with an answer. My answer was, 'not if God gives me the gift'. Ah, you know what gift I'm talking about. Now Paul was wrong to imply that people should get married, simply because they could not control their sexual appetites. Paul has given too many individuals, particularly Christians, a license to get married if you need to 'get it on' and you can no longer control yourself. But marriage is far more than that. I am certain that what he said was not what he intended to say. I hope not anyway – however, Paul was a male and from a male perspective I am certain that his position was valid from a male perspective!

The Rev doesn't, 'not want to get married either', simply because he is carrying some residual or latent anger towards females. Trust me, the Rev is still alive, however, the Rev doesn't want to fight with anyone. I see so many unhappy people today, so the Rev wonders, why get into that again? I see so many women around who are sagacious, witty, confident, successful (and can I say) FINE! And having said that, peace is more important to me than living in a superficial arrangement, simply because someone may not possess 'the gift'.

Frankly, I don't want to do what women like to do, right now. I want to watch football, basketball, boxing, preach ... and enjoy life! One of the Rev's best Thanksgiving Holiday celebrations went like this (there was no church that day and I cannot remember why not).

I decided that I was going to spend the entire Thanksgiving Holiday watching collegiate and professional football, after giving thanks of course. And I did just that. I woke up that Thanksgiving morning (said my prayers of course) then turned on the tube to a football game. I cooked and consumed breakfast as I watched the game. At lunchtime, I cooked again and tuned in to another football game. At dinner time I did the same. This pattern went on until it was dark. And around midnight, having never showered, or changed from my bathrobe or pajamas, the Rev, simply turned off the TV and climbed right back into bed. Oh, what a life?

How many men can do that with a female in your life? Man, you would be peeling potatoes (having showered 1st), washing dishes, getting dressed in order to go and visit the relatives (even grandma of: women think faster than males fame) or being told to turn that TV off and come and help me. Ah, you are the one who wanted to cook all of that food (females), so have at it I say - and don't forget to wash the dishes! A box of Churches chickens, a rib dinner, or the Thanksgiving Dinner, like the one that is traditionally served at Harvey's in Lake Tahoe, suits and suited me just fine.

I have enjoyed Thanksgiving at Harveys on more than one occasion, where I enjoyed my Holiday respite in a marvelous suite, with a full view of the 70-miles around once crystal clear alpine lake that was also surrounded by snow-covered mountains. I always reserved a panoramic view of the entire resort (which I could see from my bedroom windows) while sitting, walking or lying in bed. And at Lake Tahoe there was plenty of football to watch (on massive screens, and there was food and no dishes to wash - not to mention a hot-tub in the room, fireplace et al. Did I say no dishes to wash?

Ah, did I ever tell you about Christmas without a female being present? Well, I volunteered to serve the poor for two days at the Glide Memorial Church in San Francisco. We served about 20,000 people over that 48-hour period. I forgot to get me something to cook for Christmas day, and all of the stores were mostly closed on Christmas day, well almost all of them. The Rev stopped over in an area called Milpitas California on the drive home. The Mall was comprised mostly of Asian stores. And since most Asians don't celebrate Christmas, the Rev found an open grocery store, where he went inside and purchased the biggest Porterhouse steak that you have ever seen in your life.

Now the Rev has a special way of grilling steaks, so I took that baby straight home and got busy, and as a friend (a female once accused me of doing when she witnessed the Rev devouring a steak) 'I tore that meat off of that bone like a rapacious lion'.

You see, previously, I made the mistake of having this female friend over for dinner one evening, when I prepared steaks. She was a good friend (up until then) and she had no problem with the Rev eating his dinner on the floor, while she dined at the table. The Rev was getting down, when suddenly he heard a voice say, "tear that meat off that bone lion". Fellas’, are all females smart alecks or what? And that reminds me of another occasion when everyone in the office purchased BBQ rid dinners from the church, that were brought over to us during the lunch hour.

An hour or so after we finished eating our meal, the Rev heard raucous laughter going on. What was going on I thought? Well, one of the smart aleck female co-workers had gathered everyone around the Rev's waste basket. Why? In order to view the departed bones, that were left over from the ribs that the Rev had previously devoured. There was absolutely no meat left on the bones, she hollered. Someone said, he must have bleached those bones – they are so clean. See, that is the reason why you cannot have females around when you are 'devouring a good meal'!

Let me explain, when the Rev has steak, he doesn't want anything else with it, except something to drink. Nope, I don't want any bread, vegetables, steak sauce, potatoes, utensils-just kidding, or anything - just throw that meat at the Rev as you would do with a lion - and the Rev being the carnivore that he is - will simply devour that steak. Now can you do that with a female around? No, for first of all you would have to have napkins and to observe the proper table etiquette. Then there would be vegetables, or, a nutritionally balanced meal to eat - she would see to that (she would want a salad). Who wants that? The Rev wants meat and a huge soda - that's it. Now again, how many married men who are in relationships with women can get away with that I ask?

I can hear her now, saying, that, 'you should cut that meat up into little bite-sized pieces'. Ah gobble, gobble, gobble and mind your own business I say, for a man has got to do what a man has got to do. No wonder Paul recommended that men remain single - it is very difficult to domesticate us. Frankly, someone once said that men don't get married, they simply surrender. I'm not surrendering!

Paul was apparently, not domesticated himself, he seemed to know the secret of life. Peter liked to fish, besides I bet you that the Apostles could cook up a mean 'lamb shank' or prepare a great fish fry when hanging out with the fellas' while consuming some Johannesburg Riesling from their wineskin leather bottles! I am certain that the Apostle felt like he was doing just fine living single, and that is why he encouraged the other men to do the same – if they could hold out!

Part V. Are Men Children and am I a Manchild? In the book of St. Luke, chapter 7 verses 31 and 32, where I borrowed this week’s title from, Jesus was speaking in another context to the people of the current period. Most Bibles today have changed the terms around a bit, and instead of Jesus’ warning being directed towards men, his message has been re-directed to all human beings.

Why would Jesus make such a strong comparison, and how can we apply his stinging comments and rebuke to the men and women of today’s generation? Jesus compared the adults at that time to ‘children’. For despite all that had been done to reach them with a powerful message of empowerment, the truth is that they simply ignored the message and continued on with their game playing. WHY WON"T THE WOMEN DANCE ANYMORE?

What adult would like being told that he or she was comparable to a child that was sitting in the marketplace, calling and chanting back and forth with other children while at the same time having ignored the music and songs that were being directed at them. The adult children were so busy at play that they refused to respond, by engaging in an appropriate dance. Nor did the adult-children weep or cry given the poignant and sad dirge that was being sung to them. Their indifference reminded Jesus of children who failed to heed warnings, or to listen when someone was calling out to them.

And similar to our predecessors, many of us are so busy (you might say in the marketplace of today) trying to acquire and harbor wealth, and to obtain possessions, so much so that we cannot hear those voices that are calling out and pleading with us today. And the voices that we hear crying out today are amplified, and they are the plaintive cries of women who are crying out for justice. We are also hearing the voice of justice and right crying out from God, saying that the heavy burden of control and servitude must be lifted off of the shoulders of all of God’s female creatures.

Folks, I still do not believe that God ever intended for males to turn out to be the harsh and dominating individuals that all too many of us have turned out to be throughout human history. For too many of us, it is as if nothing else matters, beyond the spirit of control and Lordship and that we may rule over our fellow-human compliments.

Most of us, males, would curl up and laugh or mock at the very thought of anyone placing a child over us or over the affairs of our household, our places of business or, over our government. However, most females today view us in that light. We are seen by many women as nothing more than bossy little boys, who happen to inhabit grown-up bodies, who through some shift of fate, have been placed over them. They recognize that many times, we lack the skill sets that would qualify us to be the head of the house, a female, the church or our places of business or the government for that matter.

Most females spend most of their young lives (taking classes in High School) learning and acquiring all of the requisite skills that will be required in order to someday manage a household. On the other hand most males spend much of their time, in their formative years, playing basketball and football, or practicing with their XBox360s. Now these same males who have not been taught anything, or developed the requisite skills or understanding that is so necessary in order to be the head of a household, will still demand to be the head of the house based on nothing else but gender assignment and brute strength.

So Rev, are you saying that females are categorically right, in terms of everything that they do or say? And Rev, are you saying that there aren’t any rebellious females around? No, but what I am saying is that we should not create an atmosphere/hostile environment wherein females find it necessary to rebel against us. Most humans, when they are put under constant pressure or mistreatment will eventually rebel. Has every female been mistreated by her male counterpart then? The answer is a resounding no, however, having said that, the human way of dealing with rebellion, has historically been to simply quash the rebellion. And most males are still trying to quash the rebellion, when many times, there is zero evidence of a rebellion taking place.

No circumstances between a man and a woman should ever reach the point where either one feels that in order to be respected, that he or she has to beat up, undermine or destroy the other!

A business acquaintance of my mine, some years ago in the city of Berkeley California, tried to explain to me why a man who had been divorced could never be a pastor of a church. Her reasoning went like this; if he cannot manage his own house, how can he manage a church? I asked her, but what if the man had a rebellious partner, and regardless of what he did – she simply rebelled. She replied, that it was inconsequential.

My question to her and individuals who believe as she did is this, then how can God retain his headship over us? What do I mean by that? Well, if God’s whole creation rebelled against him in the past (angels and humanoids), a rebellion that has continued until this day - then somehow God must have been a failure or unqualified to be God, correct? The Rev understands that one can be the kindest, gentlest and most understanding and fair person that one can be – and still be rebelled against. And when doing the best that you know how to do, someone can divorce you just as the children of Israel divorced God!

I believe that in those instances, when you encounter ‘the spirit of python’, you need to turn that over to God. For whether it is your wife, children, a friend or employer – if you are doing what you are supposed to be doing, the rebellion is not against you – it is against God and eventually he will take care of it. However, keep in mind that at one time in your life you were rebellious yourself. Ask yourself, how did you want to be handled when you were in error? Wouldn’t you have wanted someone to at least try to get you on the right track?

The fact is that males have been trying to quash both the real and the imaginary rebellions, apparently, from the time that females were placed on this earth. From a male's perspective, women have always been in rebellion. There is some insidious aspect at work within the nature of most human beings, particularly males, that causes us to want to conquer, or dominate other humans, animals and things. From the male perspective, most males believe that they are simply doing what God told them to do - having dominion over the earth and everything in it (especially females). Conversely, I have never met a male who did not cherish the notion of freedom. So what happened to, " unto others.."?

Part IV. The Burning Bed:
To be frank, I could not imagine being an individual who found him or herself forced to live up under the control of another human being throughout my lifespan. Most women, with a few exceptions, in America have endured such treatment, well until the ‘Burning Bed’ happened. Do you recall that movie, which was also based upon a true story. That woman in Philadelphia had experienced enough of her husband’s abusive behavior, and she in turn murdered him while he was asleep. How? By sitting the house on fire and turning him into a grilled steak, while she escaped with the kids.

She was subsequently acquitted, given the extreme cruelty and abuse that she had reportedly endured over the troubled years of their marriage. And, the net effect of her acquittal was that other women realized that the scales of justice were finally being balanced and swinging in the direction of females. Many American women said at that point, I’m not taking it any more! I can recall a decade or so later, when a friend phoned the Rev, and asked, "are you sleeping on your stomach tonight"? I asked quizically, "what do you mean". Well, he was referring to what happened to another gentleman who met his fate in Manassas Virginia, another city that the Rev stayed in for awhile during a period when he was doing some work with the Washington DC Federal and District governments; a woman named Lorena Bobbitt, who had apparently had enough, simply castrated her man!

So what should we do as a society? Most women, like the American slaves of the post-bellum period, still feel, ironically, that males should still be ‘the head’ of the woman. What a spirit of forgiveness? Clearly this type of woman still wants to work things out, however, they have found out that a willingness to compromise on their parts, will not result in any mitigation of power or a willingness to compromise on the part of their male counterparts. Most women, not the radical feminists, will tell you that they neither want to be nor do without their men. And they on the other hand report that they simply want their men, to stop acting like domineering, power-happy, selfish men-children, who if they do not get their way - will beat them up or take their ball(s) and go home.

This group of females would simply prefer that their men simply conduct themselves as grown-ups and to learn to love them, to respect them and their ideas, and to better qualify themselves in many of the areas where they are lacking - so that they can be a qualified head of a household. These women no longer want a man who leads by force and mandate, or one who as a result of gender assignment - feels that their assigned gender alone qualifies them to lead the household. These women want a qualified man, one who loves them to be their knights in shining armor. It has never been a requirement, at least one that I have found in any culture, that requires any male to demonstrate in any any form, that he has the requisite training, understanding, skills or qualifications to be the head of a household!

Factually the term husband, is the same root, translated from the Greek that gives us the term, husbandry. That's right, husbandry, a farming term - that simply means 'to plant seed (sperma) or the planter'. Husbands plant the seed, just as a famer plants the seeds in the garden, or on a farm. Now many males, can readily get with this definition of being a husband - we like the job of planting our seed in women, well as long as they don't get pregnant.

And many of the planter-husbands are suspicious of women who feel that males ought to ever listen to them’. Some males, view that desire of women as an abridgment of male power, and a challenge to his power as the head of the house. Many men recall what happened to Adam and strong-man Samson when they listened to their female counterparts.

Adult males take being in charge so seriously, that they in fact groom the young males at an early age to assume prepare to assume the role. They teach the younger males to ‘step-up-to-her’, and that they must keep her in check. Why is this so important to me? Well, from a male perspective, a man who doesn’t keep his woman in check is not a real man. And folks, that is what it is all about, at least from the male’s perspective. Many males base their virility and manliness on how adapt they are at dominating, controlling and keeping you powerless. And isn’t it ironic, that in one sense both the male and the female wants the same thing from the male. Both want him to ‘be a man’. The problem is that the two sides often have a different definition of what it means to ‘be a man’.

Many a young female, not to mention some of the older ones have often been shocked by her once endearing and loving male Sir. Gallihad, who after he got what he wanted (her), he turned into a evil demanding and overpowering emperor! What happened, they ask themselves? He used to be so attentive and sweet. He brought over flowers and candy, and he used to take me out to dinner and dancing. And, he held the door for me back. But once I became 'his woman', he made a 360 degree turnaround and began to treat me like a slave or as if I was his child!

Paul asked, in closing, who shall deliver me from the body of this death? How many females ask themselves daily, who are in relationships with males, who, or when will I be delivered from the death of unappreciated servitude!

Even though I veered off course and had some fun with this topic from time to time, and employed a made up story from the movie Jurassic Park, using it it as a backdrop for discussing the ongoing and inherent problems embedded within the male-female dynamic, I do take this topic very seriously. When I graduated from high school, one of my stated aspirations was to prove that a man and a woman could live happily ever after. Sofar, I have failed!

With regard to my self-deprecating moments of transparency, I meant it, but having said that I realize that it is not only marriage that requires commitment, but working with other people requires a willingness to submit, to care, learn and to share.

I will always remember when the Lord woke me up one morning, and spoke out into my room the words that I have made a constant part of this blog. The voice said the following: Our theme – ought to be- to pursue different passions - for different people. I suspect that when we all learn how to listen and to pursue the passions of another human being, me first of all, then our world as well as our relationships and interactions with others who differ from us - in one way or another - will be a more fulfilling place to be; and the world that we reside in and our relationships will be more satisfying!

Men we have been, and are being cried out to today. But have we wept? In Lorraine Hansberry's play, Rasin In The Sun, she posed the question to her daughter: Have you wept for your brother today? The matronly woman recognized the fallen condition of her son. However, we must be just as sensitive, men, to the needs of women today. We have and are being danced in front of by females, and experiencing the lyrical sounds that ebb from broken, lonely, unappreciated and incarcerated spirits. These hearts of those with broken-spirits who have served us and born our children; those who have made an inestimable and loving effort to support us as we pursue often our selfish dreams ambitions, are crying out for respect.

It would seem to me that the book: Weeping In The Playtime of Others, the title enough would be sufficient to describe what females are trying to convey to others. But we are busy playing our games, sometimes literally, while our women, not children this time, are crying out to us to set them free!

And it is indeed time that we reform ourselves, and begin to enter into loving, enlightened and meaningful relationships with our counterparts, and to show meaningful respect and humane positive regard for all of the females that God has placed upon this earth along with us.

Peace & Grace & I Love You Ladies
Reverend C. Solomon

Books referred to:
All God's Children, by author Fox Butterfield
Weeping In the Playtime of Others, by author Kenneth Woodsen

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